love letter to God

God, are you a romantic individual?
Why do people find thrill in romantic relationship with humans but not you?
If you are my lover, you should be romantic.
I could picture you as my father and my friends. But if you are a man, I would picture you as a conservative individual living at home. And that just wouldn't do for me. Of course, that couldn't be it right? My God would be much more attractive than this. If I am to go out with you, you'd need to be charismatic. If you are so, open up my eyes to see the things you have done for me daily. From the moment I wake up, you whisper gentle air into my surrounding. When I step into the wilderness, I see pop of color everywhere. They are your gift for me on my way to school. You love me, but I did not give you the time to tell me so. I want things my way and I want it now. Sorry.

blank again

hello
i want to write
but i have nothing to say

i think i am mad today
but then again
i dont know what i am mad about

knock on wood

I went out with someone like a sister last week. I don't remember how we stumbled upon the topic, but I asked who does she think I will be like in the future. Her answer is utterly disappointing. She said that she sees me as someone who would chase after her career. I agree. It has been my goal up till this point in my life. Then she said it. She said that she sees me as someone who would be ALONE.

OH MY GOODNESS! 

I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE!

Even though I do not have a vision different from hers YET, but it was extremely sad to think that someone predicts my future like that.

(spit in dirt) (knock on wood) ("It's not true!" "IT'S NOT TRUE!")

I also remember telling someone that I feel bad for whoever's sticking beside me in the future. (Why do I have such a bad rep. for myself?) 

I don't know if I am confident or not.

I work well. 

I think I am a pretty good teacher.

(bitter laughter)

Okay. I'll deal with my problem now.
Just one thing that I want myself to remember.
My problem. My solution. I'll do it. 

mom

When she is stressed, she cleans.
I guess that where I got it from.
When she felt hurt and alone, she does everything herself.
I guess that where I got it from.
She doesn't talk about it.
She just kept working.
She does more than usual.
When my aunt passed away, she did that.
When you get to an age, you wonder if you could rely on your children.
As children, you wonder if you could ever do more.
It's a hard balance, this life of ours. Takes a few practice to get it almost right but never right.

untitled

I wish I could go closer

dont fade memory

My fellow readers. Have you decided to leave me now. I am back. So, don't go.

It has been a while since I have prayed for someone. It just that I felt as if I am starting to forget. I close my eyes to remember, but the memory is haste. I am so scared that memory would fade. What would my time be worth if that is the case. What would my love be worth if that is the case as well.

God will keep you save. I have said it once and I will say it twice. God loves you and that is all yo it.