didnt get to keep you
miss you much

dont let go God dont let go

Actually I am a little upset about giving up on ministry. I asked God for permission and I felt that He nodded. I feel a little disappointed in myself for not trying harder. I am sad that 10 years of my life went by so quickly and yet I cannot say that I had make a difference. Do I care about those people? Of course, they were my brothers and sisters. Why did I say "were"? Because I be recently learnt that maybe it's all in my head. Am I that replaceable that when I say go, I was let go with ease. I must be crazy trying to get credit for something that doesn't even belong to me. I think that most disappointing thing is that I did not just smile and wave goodbye. I del as though I have been wounded and thus let go. I really have no position in giving a tantrum because they were just approving of my decision.

I guess the big question is: Where to next?
Everything following is going to be so unfamiliar to me. God, don't let go of me.