New Year Resolution Part III

There is one thing I fear about blogging. It is the same with any source of information lingering in cyberspace. What if someone finds me? What if someone stalk me? Hey! This is legit fear. Okay?!

New Year Resolution Part I:
1. Pay off student loan by September.
Eight month. $20,000. $2,500/month.
Looks like I am going to be living at home for awhile.
2. Send Mother back to Taiwan in December.
Mother sacrificed a lot to be married into this family. Everybody deserves a break no matter how responsible they felt towards their family. Thanks to the recent opportunity, we know know that it is possible to give Mother a holiday. I would like to keep this up--emergency or no emergency. She must go back to visit grandmother more often.

As much as I like to save the entire world and make everyone happy; that is by no doubt, impossible to achieve. Still, I like to do whatever I can.

Sometimes when I look at people, they are not bound by time or circumstance, they are just human. They want to be happy. Little do I know if people's "LOL" are legit, but I still like to see them smile and laugh. I raised an eyebrow to those who laugh at my intention and call me naive. People need to return to the basis of humanity--positivity, happiness, and motivation. My ultimate goal is to instill purpose into everyday living, to create something that is timeless and colorful.

here's to a new year

hello
I'm back this year with a brand new resolution
1. Write a post everyday

I think it is a good habit to write in your journal everyday. I wish to be true to myself everytime I write and I wish to write with style. I wish one would read and laugh and cry with my success and failure. I will learn lots this year and I will record it all here.

here's to a new year
happy 2015

what i do when i cant sleep

for the first time in forever, I involuntary can't sleep
for the first time in forever, my brain won't stop thinking and my heart wont stop reacting
when will this end
nobody knows

Clear

I kept hoping someone is listening to me
is watching over me
is keeping an eye on me
is still looking up to me

This just about summed it all up.
My feeling atm.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgSmQdTJFIM

Diary 110214

I don't care.

I don't care.

I don't care.

Of course I do.

But I don't.

But I do.

Damn it.

Prayer 102714

Dear God

Please help me.
I am so exhausted, but I can't go to sleep without finishing my writing assignment for my PDP application.
Yes, I am reapplying again for the umpteenth times.
That's partially the reason for my anxiety.
The next is the several things I have to do for this week.
I want to do everything.
Everything that popped into my head seems like an opportunity of improvement for me.
So I accomplish them.
But I feel like I am running out of gas.
Personally, I really like to ask for help.
Like literally screaming, "Yo, am I the only one who cares around here?!?!"
Obviously, that's not true. Everyone cares somewhat.
But...please do something.
Dear God. Help me finish the outline of this writing in half an hour.
Let me sleep earlier please.

In Jesus' name
Amen

Diary 102714

Dear Diary
I feel dead.
Very much so.
I have been staring at a blank wall for some time now.
To me, that's a bliss.
The number of things to do just come one right after another.
There is no time for rest.
Plus at the time of rest, I just had to be thinking of useless things.
Seriously out of it.
What to do?
My room is in a mess, which had never happened before.
I hate messy room and unorganized surrounding.
But I am too dead beat to clean up now.
...EXHAUSTED!
I thought I am that much more stress tolerant.
I thought wrong!