highschool

Sometimes, I just can't sleep. So today, I am thinking about highschool. Which group did I belong to in highschool? Was I the nerds? I don't think so. Was I the the popular kids? Definitely not man. So I guess I was the average-Joe. I was really nice though. I still am. I do think sometimes people take advantage of me. The problem is I wouldn't think so.

So I haven't checked my messages for the longest time, because I am learning to be patient. No. I just don't like the feeling of disappointment when I realized no one replied me or that my message has not been read. I always turned off my device as soon as I pressed send because I don't want to see any response to my msg. Reason is there would be none. Gosh. I act like a highschooler. And that my faithful friends, I am in deep poo.

missing you

I am not quite sure what I miss anymore. I don't even remember. Today, I look through the album and sort of remembered. I think I do miss you. I miss grandma too.

understanding myself is a long process

Sometimes, I think it is necessary to fall in order for you to know that it's important for you to watch your steps. That is the case with life, no? I am sorry. Despite how horrible I felt, I still do as I pleased. I don't know what hope am I holding on to. I don't know why I hold on to the one person who does not want to talk to me. I don't know why I cant see past it. I don't know what I can't see past. I am trying to understand myself from an objective point of view. I don't cringe anymore. I am just amazed at myself. I allow myself to do what I want and then I stand back and shake my head.

Dear Jesus
It's been a while. Will I ever go back?

out

there something wrong with me feeling
its out of order
I should have learned something in high school but I didnt because I didnt think it was necessary for me to learn at the time
now I'm out of order

hope this helps

I should be focusing on my career and I am not. I can't help but think about this and that. It's very annoying actually. I am leaving on Monday and I am totally stressing out. I can't handle this. I can't.

empty

Someone help me!
I am not going to do anything stupid, but I am feeling very desperate now. I feel like there's nobody. Nobody at all.
I am so scared right now. I am so scared of the truth and the lies. I can't even clench my hands together. What's wrong with me?

24/7

Today's main event was the initiation of the 24/7 prayer meeting. I can't begin to fathom what had happened. Let me just say that it was intense. Was it me? Have I became more and more logical? I don't act like them. Everyone was crying. I didn't. I almost felt like I should though. I remember I used to. I was realm confused by the direction of people's prayer. They were crying out for revival; asking the father to come. I don't cry when I think about the father though. I only cry when I think of hurting people. Should I be crying because God is hurting? But God is sovereign. I want love to overtake the Earth. It is possible isn't it?