what i do when i cant sleep

for the first time in forever, I involuntary can't sleep
for the first time in forever, my brain won't stop thinking and my heart wont stop reacting
when will this end
nobody knows

Clear

I kept hoping someone is listening to me
is watching over me
is keeping an eye on me
is still looking up to me

This just about summed it all up.
My feeling atm.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgSmQdTJFIM

Diary 110214

I don't care.

I don't care.

I don't care.

Of course I do.

But I don't.

But I do.

Damn it.

Prayer 102714

Dear God

Please help me.
I am so exhausted, but I can't go to sleep without finishing my writing assignment for my PDP application.
Yes, I am reapplying again for the umpteenth times.
That's partially the reason for my anxiety.
The next is the several things I have to do for this week.
I want to do everything.
Everything that popped into my head seems like an opportunity of improvement for me.
So I accomplish them.
But I feel like I am running out of gas.
Personally, I really like to ask for help.
Like literally screaming, "Yo, am I the only one who cares around here?!?!"
Obviously, that's not true. Everyone cares somewhat.
But...please do something.
Dear God. Help me finish the outline of this writing in half an hour.
Let me sleep earlier please.

In Jesus' name
Amen

Diary 102714

Dear Diary
I feel dead.
Very much so.
I have been staring at a blank wall for some time now.
To me, that's a bliss.
The number of things to do just come one right after another.
There is no time for rest.
Plus at the time of rest, I just had to be thinking of useless things.
Seriously out of it.
What to do?
My room is in a mess, which had never happened before.
I hate messy room and unorganized surrounding.
But I am too dead beat to clean up now.
...EXHAUSTED!
I thought I am that much more stress tolerant.
I thought wrong!

Diary102414

連想都不能想
一想就覺得在犯罪
又不是故意的
這樣子我連藉口都沒有了
不能跟我玩了吧

Alright, I am exaggerating again.
Take a deep breath.













































































































































































































































































































Now, run away.

Neverland

Today, I was able to look at myself in the mirror and make faces at myself.
I screamed on top of my lung in the car and I talked to myself for all I want.
I realized I am really not from this planet.
My comeback rate is too strong, even I am amazed.
As long as I stay in "NeverLand", I can be happy.
If there is really that one person who can stay by my side.
This person would have to bear the following:
The ability to withstand noise, immaturity, and my up-and-down emotional roller coaster.
I am too much of a drama queen.
Sorry, can't help it.
:P