knock on wood

I went out with someone like a sister last week. I don't remember how we stumbled upon the topic, but I asked who does she think I will be like in the future. Her answer is utterly disappointing. She said that she sees me as someone who would chase after her career. I agree. It has been my goal up till this point in my life. Then she said it. She said that she sees me as someone who would be ALONE.

OH MY GOODNESS! 

I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE!

Even though I do not have a vision different from hers YET, but it was extremely sad to think that someone predicts my future like that.

(spit in dirt) (knock on wood) ("It's not true!" "IT'S NOT TRUE!")

I also remember telling someone that I feel bad for whoever's sticking beside me in the future. (Why do I have such a bad rep. for myself?) 

I don't know if I am confident or not.

I work well. 

I think I am a pretty good teacher.

(bitter laughter)

Okay. I'll deal with my problem now.
Just one thing that I want myself to remember.
My problem. My solution. I'll do it.