Literally Can't Cry

The hardest part is getting up after you fell.
And no one else can help you, except yourself.

Something is absolutely wrong with me.
I
CAN'T
CRY

You don't understand. This is serious.
I feel sad, but I can't cry.
And the worst part is I cry when I don't want to cry.

Someone told me that I am stuck and that I am purposely suppressing my emotion.
Although true, but I didn't want to be like this to a point that I feel like I may be sick.

My only source of expression is through worship.
I uncontrollably can't stop tearing up when I worship.
The lyric hit hard. I opened my mouth and no sound came out.
I didn't know what to do.
Seriously panicking and seriously don't know what to do.
If this happens again, then what do I do?
Is this healing?
From what though?
Am I really that devastated?
By what though?

I wanted to release myself by crying at home, but I can't.
Tear starts to fall and then it was as if I sucked it back in.
It stopped.

It is so scary when the feeling of sadness overwhelmed me and I can't let it go.

I'll be okay.
I'll be okay.