Today during band practice, I sense everyone is a little confused and distracted. Although I want to be careful with not overstepping people's boundary, I did it anyways. I just say what's on my mind. "I am confused." "I feel like there is a wall." "I want everyone to stop and focus." What happened was that there was no connection nor communication. Everyone wants instruction. Without it they can't function. True, perhaps I should give clearer hand signal, but there is something else--a distraction.
Today, I also sang whatever that comes to mind. There was a moment of embarrassment when the melody sounds a little odd, but I kept singing. I can't wait till David comes back. Though date is not specific nor certain, but he catches on spontaneous worship much faster and he makes me feel like it's okay to try anything.
In the mean time, I will just train myself in the freedom. I have since then found a sense of self and recklessness.
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