Alright, so I really hate writing depressing post, but this one is important.
I am really struggling here. I'll tell you exactly what I am dealing with here--lies. I know it's lies but at the same time I am doing everything to convince myself that the lies are true.
Today's lie: "I am left begin behind."
There seems to be a trigger word--"miss". I miss so-and-so and then my tears would stay to flow uncontrollably. Today, I thought, "I miss Sofi" and then it starts. (It's starting again...)
Everyone always leaves with such ease. By that I mean that they get to say goodbye first. I always have to see people's back. It's so lonely. With that being said, I miss Julia, Cindy, and Rachel. Thought I forgot about them. Nah.
I don't know what it is so hard for me. I feel seriously too much. Get emotionally attached too much. It is problematic. It really is. And I am real apologetic if that adds unnecessary trouble to another human being.
Secondly, people scares me. The way people talks, thinks, and acts under the table is so disgusting.
On the final note. Please protect my dignity by not exposing my inner thoughts. Thoughts are my most intimate belonging. If it is exposes, it will be as if I am naked and shameful.
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