hello

hello hello hey lolo
hi!
I don't know what to say
it is one of those days
miss

dear God

How is it possible that I wish to be someone's happiness? Like I want to make people happy. One in particular. If I get another chance. I hope.

practicum week

There is a hope that one day we can catch up and I would have lots to say. I think many times I review what I would say. Sometimes once. Sometimes twice. Sometimes it ran through my head a couple of time and I realized I don't need to say it anymore because I felt as if I had said it.
I have been really stressed. I almost thought I couldn't make it to the end of the week. But here I am. I guess I am a survivor. So does a survivor has to be alone? In the morning I couldn't stand it when people talk. I need to think and I can't think when there are noise. So I suppose I really need to live on my own.
I think with this business I would never have a dull moment to think too much. I just need to focus on surviving. That could be my saving grace.

Dear God
Sorry I have not been talking to you. I can't atm, but I am working on it. Meanwhile, I pray for my friend because midterm is coming up. Bless the studying process.
Amen

Hope too frail

So I wad about to message someone that "I am soooooooooo nervous about tomorrow!" But my iPod was dead. So I took it as a sign that I shouldn't message the person and expect a reply or something of comfort. And that makes me really sad. So now I am typing here as if I've talked about it with someone but I really didn't. I am kind of really really sad about it.

My sissy just told me something interesting. It made me ponder because you know I like a good puzzle. She said that someone is asking someone out through someone else. She didnt say much, but I look for clues. Haha.

Well...if that someone is asking me out, I am telling you I will be leaving on the next flight out. Not interested. Just in general. No offense anyone. But of course I could be just over thinking it. Let's hope so.

You are my son

We ask why the world cries in vain. We ask where is God.
We ask why are the corrupted getting away with things.
Does He not care? Is He not good?

The One enthroned in heaven laughs;
    the Lord scoffs at them.
 “I have installed my king
    on Zion, my holy mountain.” (Ps. 2)

I think we did not realize that it is He who puts us on Earth.
We are His secret weapon.

love and love a lot

The people you lose, you can't hold onto.
But what can you do, when life get to you.
There are opportunities to come, and mountains to conquer.
So how dare I think I am the one who is
Able to walk with forever.

I thought I am constant, but maybe I am changing as well.
It's all for the better, I am telling you so.
One day our cross will meet and you will know
That we have became two different souls.
We've both transform from a caterpillar to a butterfly.
No matter what stage or age we were.

So I wish you the best and await the time
When we meet on that other line.
God will keep you close, because I told Him so.
And He told me He has already done so.

Love and laugh a lot.

body and mind

When you are sick, your mental capability go down as well. Your mind goes everywhere with no limit. You have no restraint. The. You become weak in both body and mind.

just my grandma and me

Today, I visited grandma. I took her for a walk and I played the piano for her. While I was playing the piano, another grandma came by to listen. I wasn't playing well. In fact I haven't played in the longest. I've almost forgotten everything that my teacher has taught me. That grandma told me she played piano before. I told her I wasn't any good and am just a beginner, but she said that's okay. I like that. I think I am going to play piano for my grandmother every week. I should practice a song a week.
Then, I took grandma back to her room and sang hymn with her. She sang with me of course. It made me really happy to see grandma sing. When I said goodbye to her, another grandma (a different one) came and said, "I wish you could sing for me next time. You sing well. You just need a different song." It made me really happy. I just compliment like this more than ever. Although, it may not be the most justify but I think compliments that come from children and old people are the most sincere. What I like the most is that the grandma said "I like you. You have a good attitude." I got complimented on my attitude. Yay! I tried so hard to have a good attitude and a good character. I said I tried hard because like everyone else there are dog poops in my life. But I tried to scoop it up and make my life clean and happy. I really do try to keep up a good attitude and character. I am so glad someone sees that.

things

I kept on wanting to start a new blog--something anew. I want a do-over. Sometimes ago when I did not present myself as vulnerable. It's hard to pretend to be strong when you already admit that you are weak. It's not that I am not strong. How do you even define strength? I am able to be alone. Does that mean I am strong? In fact I am getting better and better with that. I don't have to tell people how I feel. I don't have to admit to everything. I simply don't say. I don't think that's healthy, but in a minute. I promise in a minute, I'll get better.
I am trying to fight off this flu (literally). I was sick yesterday and still recovering today. And then you realized that in the moment of your physical sickness, you can be mentally too.
Now I think about it, is there someone that does not felt supported by me. And because of that it is difficult for the person to do the things she wanted to do. And because of that she felt defensive.
PDP is demanding. It's all part of the profession. You have to put in 100%. It's for the kids you know. But boy am I exhausted from the first week.
If we ever do get coffee, I hope we can talk casually and I get to relax. Need it.

I really do miss you.