It's not easy you know.
Staying silent.
I am juggling with what I should say and what I should not say.
I am juggling with what I should do and should not do.
You know the line between selfless and selfish is really thin.
Although, I thought I am being nice, it may end up being burdensome.
Here's an example:
My brother.
One who always kept in mind that his sister did not teach him math when he was struggling with it in highschool.
From that day and on, he has the mentality of becoming independent.
To make up for traumatizing him, I offer to pay for his phone bill when I was in college.
Today, he told me that the day I stop paying for his bill, he was the happiest.
All these times, I thought I was demonstrating selfless love ends up putting stress on him, because he thinks he owes me.
Now, what can I do?
I enjoy giving.
I want to give.
I love you and I want to show you that I do by giving you gift. Gift--it's my love language.
Awe. Like I don't want to make people feel uncomfortable for me loving them. It's like am I not suppose to love you. Shouldn't love be the most natural thing? Why do I feel like I am doing something wrong?
No comments:
Post a Comment