Where did your storm come from?

Where did your storm come from?

"The storms of life can present terrific challenges and opportunities for us to grow. But it makes a great deal of difference which storm you're in."

"Others face storms because they are in the middle of God's will. He doesn't like the storm, but He wants to train you to use tools He's given you to calm it."

"In the midst of your storm, stir up your faith in the One who will show you where you put your tools. Regardless of where your storm came from, you have been trained for this moment. You do know what to do."

-Bill Johnson

I think I do know what to do.

Although, I was about to head in the opposite direction.

Should I stir up my faith and expect another miracle?

Should I continue to strive for the glory of His kingdom?

Should I become even more vulnerable and transparent?

These are some false understanding of Our Father up above.

1. He does not provide.

2. He does not like seeing tear.

These are where these false understanding came from.

Our father on earth has a lot to do with how we look at Our Heavenly Father.

Like I have mentioned before my father does not bring the bread in the family. What toll does this have on me? A certain level of independence that does not enhance my identity as the princess in the family. Financial burden is a curse in my family. It was so apparent throughout my growth that I swear I will never place practicality over the value of life. Unfortunately, it is the constant reminder of that swear, that I have indeed fell into the whirlwind of that curse. However, I hereby command that curse to be broken and demand its escape from my household. In the name of the Father, I release myself from the stress of finance burden and upheld the love of Christ in my life. He is for me and not against. I will walk upon the path that was so greatly highlighted in my life. I will remain in the court of the Lord for the rest of my life.

Whenever we get hurt, whenever we get sad and needy, we cry, and my dad would tell us to stop crying. Crying agitates him. It confuses him and gives him great discomfort. He does not know how to react to the little drops of the tear sliding down his children's cheek bone. That prohibited lots of crying on my behalf and distant me from a normal dose of expression. Though, I still cry a lot--only under reasonable circumstances though, such as underneath the influence of a sappy movie. There are exception to that rule though--during worship.  Once I came to ask God why I cry so much and then I asked him to remove my tear. I told him tear seems weak and I do not want to be weak. Then He said that my tears are precious and that it is my weapon in times of spiritual warfare. 

In the beginning of the year, He told me He is going to teach me the hardest lesson I have yet to understand. He told me I was to learn about love. Rejected by the idea in the beginning, but now I am starting to understand as events start to unravel.

Love is never letting go even in times of insufficiency.

Love is vulnerability and trust in the intimacy of relationship.

For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
    A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
    A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
    A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
    A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
    A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
    A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
    A time for war and a time for peace. (Ecclesiastes 3)